(R)Evolution Relationships With Children

Warning... this blog expresses much of my spirituality.  If truths other than your own offend you please click that X in the upper right corner now.  

Day 2 of 30 days of Personal (R)Evolution or things I wish my Mother would have told me. 

Good morning, Pumpkin, I hope you slept well last night.  I've been thinking about some of the things you might want to know about all of these little people running around.  You just enjoy your cup of cocoa and wake up.  Everything is just right today, it is a perfectly wonderful day to be alive.  

Having a child is a choice and one not to be gone into lightly.  Just because you can, sweetheart, doesn't mean you should so before hand it might be wise to understand what you are getting yourself into.  

From the moment that you feel life growing inside of you (for men told that your baby is being created) life changes.  It will never be the same in both wonderful and heart breaking ways.  You are becoming the creator of a brand new human being and never again will you experience life without taking this other human into consideration.  Life as you knew it is over... oh honey don't cry.. it is as wonderful as it is sad and you will have 9 months to grieve over the lifestyle you are giving up for this new one.

During that time many amazing things are going to happen.  You are going to get more hungry than you have ever been.  Don't worry it is just that baby telling you that it is hungry.  Be careful to feed it nutritious food because it can't become a full human being on Twinkies.  Sorry I had to laugh when you gasped like that.  You can still have your Twinkie every once in a while but the baby needs much more nutrition and so do you so please use all of your knowledge and feed both of you well.  

The first few months may be difficult as your body tries to get use to this idea of creating a new life.  Soda Crackers can become a girls best friend and I'll make sure you have plenty.. ok so don't worry.   One day though, the most amazing thing is going to happen... you are going to feel what seems to be a butterfly in the bottom of your tummy.  At that very moment, you will fall in love because your baby is letting you know that he or she is there and getting a little more comfortable in the bed you have made for it.  

Your baby is going to experience everything that you do so be very careful.  Even though emotions are high, it has never been more important in your entire life to laugh, be at joy and peaceful.  Your baby is counting on you and you are no longer just you... you are now, we.  OH and one more thing... your baby can hear you.  He or she will know your voice and the voice of those around you long before born so be careful who your child is exposed to from the very beginning.. ok?  It is your right to do this, you are his or her Mother.  

The day will come for his or her arrival and it is going to hurt.  Prepare yourself with all the information your medical team can provide, read, get yourself ready so there are few surprises.  Same as getting ready to go on an important date, try to make sure everything is as perfect as you can and be prepared.  The pain is excruciating when it is happening but the moment they lay your baby on your chest... all of that will swiftly pass away as you gaze into his or hers eyes for the first time and KNOW love in a way that you have never experienced it before.  

Your baby has been watching you and everyone you are around for quite some time.  Maybe you will feel him or her and maybe not but just the same he or she has been watching and trying to make a decision if he or she is the ONE that you both will benefit the most from.  See we are much smarter before coming because our human body disconnects us from the fluidity of being pure spirit but when your little one decided to come again he or she begins the "interview" process.  Every time a union like this happens a "soul" contract has been made, completely without your remembering it, but in your deepest sleep you have already been talking with those interested in joining you.  They can see further into the possibilities of future events from their vantage point so no worries about what is coming.  You have both agreed upon certain things, lessons and ways your little one will assist in teaching you along the way. 

Sometimes women decide to have a baby but put it up for adoption.  This is usually not an easy decision for the birth mother but the new soul coming in knew it was coming so there are no worries at all.  The new human actually chose the adoptive parents long before birth right along with the birth mother as the wonderful starting place.  Only love here regardless of the situation.  Sometimes there is a struggle over the new human and again it is simply for everyone's education.  We won't talk any more of that though, because you know in advance that having this new life is a choice.  With the choice to create life, you have decided to end the life you knew before becoming a mother.  

Don't allow any other situation to derail you from your path with your new little one.  Don't allow anyone to disrespect, harm or in any way provide a life other than the one in which you lovingly agree with for your baby.  This is your right, sweetheart, this is your responsibility.  It is your RIGHT to say no to anything that might be harmful.  It is your loving duty to sometimes go against what others say is best but you know in your heart is not the best for this baby which made a soul contract with you.  The contract was made with YOU.  What about your husband?  I'm so happy that you asked me because he is very important also.  For some women the man chooses not to be a part of this new life's life and in those cases your new life already knew that before coming.  In some cases the Mommy and Daddy will live together both understanding that their former life is gone and the new life will center on this child as long as they both shall live.  In some cases it is better for everyone if Mommy and Daddy.... yes honey I know how much you love your husband and it will never happen to YOU but lets talk about this anyway ok?......no longer live together as being together harms everyone in the family in some way.  It might simply be that the type of love needed for their marriage has gone away.  If this happens and both the Mommy and Daddy still want to be an active part of your babies life, it is your responsibility to let this happen as joyously as you can.  Your baby knew before coming and is counting on your maturity to provide the emotional security needed so he or she can do everything that is desired when grown.  

In the early years it is going to be hard because your baby is trying to figure out the correct way of interacting in this world.  During this time frame your baby will possibly become "unwrapped" at times over the frustration of it.  This can be in the form of tantrums or acting out in some way.  He or she remembers before, sometimes only in dreams but he or she remembers and this world is nothing like the one before so it is very confusing.  Try to remember that you are the adult and accustom to this world, he or she is counting on you to teach.  Part of that teaching is that it is ok to feel all emotions but there are proper ways to express them which sometimes will mean in private for a while.  Do not leave your baby alone too long because he or she has not been alone as we are never alone in the spirit world, this separation of being in a body can be very lonely.  

Mostly, do not do to your new life anything that you do not wish done to yourself.  Think, sweetheart, before you act and if you would not have wanted me to do that to you then don't do it.  If you would not want me to talk to you like that then don't do it.  If you would not like a bully to come and hit you or harm you physically then don't do it.  If you can remember this, honey, then nothing more really needs to be said.  If needed, call someone to come watch your child or provide some appropriate entertainment and put yourself in a time out.  Once you are recovered then rejoin your family. 

Mostly, my sweet child, remember that I am your Mother and if I see you treating my Grandchild in a negative way then expect me to mirror that behavior back to you.  I will try to remember to explain it to you if I pick up a belt to hit you with it but just remember that I am only a mirror.  If I witness unfair behavior then understand that I am going to treat you unfairly then try to remember to explain to you why I did that.  If I see you refuse to give your baby what it needs then expect me to refuse you the next time you ask.  Lastly, oh sweet heart this hurts me deeply, if I see that you are unable to do everything in your power to treat your baby fairly, lovingly and always remembering that your old life is over and Motherhood is everything, I will do everything in my power to bring that new life to live with me.  Your baby sees the world as a mirror and will  mirror much of what you teach him or her.  

 I will do everything I can to help you in your quest of helping this new person become all they can be.  Never be afraid to ask the people who love you.  Never be afraid to get what you need, even if that means being away from home working two jobs or asking for Government assistance.  Nothing is wrong if it means that your baby is safe, loved and has everything it needs to grow into the phenomenal human being that he or she already is.

Motherhood, it is the most amazing journey a woman can embark upon.  Some women are wise not to bring a child into the world and I applaud these women for making a wise decision.

If you are only needing, desiring, yearning for something to love you unconditionally, be excited every time they see you, eat what you want, go away when you don't feel up to dealing with them, will be ok (without the expense of a babysitter) when you want to party or is just cute to show off... I will buy you any puppy that you desire.  Those are not reasons to create a human being.   

Just hold onto your hat, Sweet Pea, cause you are in for the ride of your life.  

I love you... now go get em tiger there has never been a better day to be alive.  

I can only pray that, given time, my children will forgive me for taking so long to understand all of this.  There is no excuse for many of the mistakes I made, I am sorry for not having been a better mother.  Thankfully I was blessed with Phenomenal teachers when you came, more wonderful human beings have never been here before and never will come again.